Say what LV?

Setting the scene, pj's are on and I'm walking LV up to bed:

LV: Benjamin bit me
Me: oh no, that's not nice, did u tell the teacher?
(based on the assumption Benjamin is a boy from nursery) LV: No, I'm telling you mummy
Me: ok, well I don't think that's very nice behaviour so I'm going to speak to your teacher tomorrow
LV: Why?
Me: Because I don't think biting is very friendly and you should tell your teacher if it happens again
LV: And then he pooed on me
Me: (in my head) Holy Shit, what kind of nursery is this, who are this child's parents????
Me: (out loud) oh my goodness LV when? Where?
LV: Yesterday. When I was in bed Me: What bed?
LV: My little bed upstairs

I ponder this.....I realise.....Benjamin is not a boy, he's a toy rabbit.

Me: oh LV, Benjamin didn't bite or pooh on you, he's pretend
LV: He bit me and pooed on me, by pretend
Me: oh ok then

She gets into bed

LV: will you watch me sleep
Me: yep, ok
LV: but don't bite me
Me: I'd never bite you poppet
LV: and don't pooh on me
Me: I can promise you I will never ever do that
LV: ok, night mummy
Me: night sweetie

Another night passes in the house of peculiar conversation.
Xo