Hi, is this Alfie?

LV has been psyched about starting swimming lessons for months, well, as psyched as a 3 year old can get, but she was definitely super excited. Rob was almost as excited as LV as he usually takes LV swimming but unfortunately for him he had to work the day of her first lesson. The job was mine, I was to take LV to her first swimming lesson. My excitement was dulled down by the fact that I don't own a swimming costume and I cringed at the thought of showing up in my holiday bikini as the other mums tutted at my inappropriate attire for a child's swimming class, but I needn't have worried, thankfully the mums don't need to get in the water...phew, my bikini stayed firmly under my faux 'gym attire', I say faux because I very rarely exercise but I wanted to look the part for LV. So I walked LV over to the swimming teacher (she had a tshirt that said Swimming Teacher, sensible)and was confronted with what I can only describe as a total fox (blonde, tanned, fit, 21 etc) suddenly Robs desperation to get LV booked in with this particular class became very clear...tut. But then she said 'Hi is this Alfie?' ummmm no this is not Alfie! This is my girl daughter, LV.. the main reason she is wearing a swimming costume and not swimming trunks is because SHE is a girl!! Awkward. What I actually said was 'no, this is LV'. So LV throws her costume clad self into the pool and has a whale of a time. I grinned, clapped, cheered on from the poolside and had a hoot. I'll be taking her again Saturday, Robs in work again...(unlucky), but this time I might really mess with the fox and take LV in a pair of trunks. I suppose when u're that beautiful being able to identify the gender of your class members is irrelevant...I just thought it was a skill most people had..maybe not, I'll put the fox to the test Saturday. Xo

Patience of a saint.

As the festivities dwindle and Christmas becomes a distant memory I thought it time to get posting again! Hurrah. We had a lovely Christmas with family and a fabulous New Year with friends (who are still here, horay, even though they're still fast asleep - LV and I have been up for 2.5 hours already! Just saying). So it seems appropriate to put my mind to New Years resolutions...I usually make some and keep none, but this year's different, this year is the year I develop the patience of a saint. No-one has ever accused me of being patient, it's never been a character trait I put too much thought into, that was until 2011 when I was tested to my limit by the bold LV. Motherhood requires patience and I've managed to coast along so far with only a few minor incidents where a dollop of patience would have diffused a potentially disastrous altercation, including 'the boots incident', so that's my main objective for 2012, be more patient, but in order to make this commitment I had to reach breaking point, and that's exactly what I did, approximately 4 days ago. 'The Boots incident' As LV and I navigated the aisles of our local Boots store I was oblivious to the meltdown that was brewing in LV, as far as I was concerned we were having some lovely mother and daughter bonding time, there was the intention to go to Cafe Nero ( this we had discussed). I showered her with praise for walking the 15 minutes into town without asking to be carried, we were onto a winner, or so I thought. She even picked out a new toothbrush...life was good, and then it happened. As we stood at the till point she started writhing around on the floor (no reason), I kept my cool (even though the panic was rising), I suggested she get up, my suggestion was brutally rebuffed. I helped her back onto her feet whilst trying to enter my PIN, and then she bolted! Like a whippet she was gone, shrieking with excitement she darted from the vice like grip of my knees, arms flailing as she rounded the corner and out of my sight. Now I'd like to say I saw the funny side of this, but unfortunately I cannot. I freaked out and I began to chase, I abandoned my card, my goods, my dignity as I rounded the corner and promptly fell over...yes that's right, I fell over. I can't remember the last time I fell over, oh the shame, and the pain as I considered the possibility that I had broken my leg . LV witnessed the fall and she knew the game was over, she sheepishly moved towards me as I tried to tell her off without crying. I was furious, livid, she knew....I limped back to the till with LVs hand in mine as she attempted to release it, but she will learn that a furious mothers grip is relentless, there's no escaping it, we've all experienced it, I refer to it simply as 'mum grip'. Needless to say there was no Nero, there were tears, there was an awkward walk home and there's a new years resolution...be more patient. LV misbehaved, but I was mainly furious because I was in pain...if I hadn't have chased with such panic maybe she would have just come back, I mean there's no point in running if you're not being chased...then it's just exercise! So, this year I will be more patient and I will avoid falling over at all costs. Xo.

If I had a wish list...

The good thing about a wish list is that you get to add all sorts of bits and bobs to it, yet because it's a wish list you don't really expect to get anything from it (LIE...that's a lie, I want at least one thing from it). I remember a Christmas wish list that I handed to my parents when I was little that included:

A hamster

A dress

A sofabed (a friend of mine had one and I thought it was amazing!)

I did get the dress and we definitely had a hamster, but unfortunately the sofabed didn't transpire, so I'm realistic...I've been trained well, I don't expect everything from the list.

Below are from the 'jewellery' category of my wish list (yes, there are categories). 

1. Alex Monroe Bike Necklace £180.

2. Zoe & Morgan Love Lasso Ring £85.

3. Zoe & Morgan Fifi Earrings £156.

4. Alex Monroe Bee Necklace £100.

I really love all of the above, but fell instantly in love with the Love lasso ring when I first laid eyes on it in Grazia. So, besides leaving my wish list lying around the place I've also emailed the link to the lovely husband...just to be on the safe side. Fingers crossed.

xo.

Homemade Christmas tree decorations.

Use this recipe here once cooled these biscuits were so hard they'll make perfect tree decorations (or for actual edible biscuits, just bake for less time). Just make a little hole at the top to thread the ribbon through before baking. We decorated ours with glitter, just pop some glue on and then sprinkle...bingo, a lovely tree decoration. That is if you manage to pry it from the jaws of your 3 year old as they attempt to eat their lovely decoration.

xo.

Kitsch Christmas.

Christmas came early when I stumbled upon the kitschest Christmas cards one might ever see. Who knows what I'll do with them as they've been written in, Jan and Frank would be devastated to know that these cards haven't been treasured by the recipients. Fret not Jan and Frank, they're in safe hands now.

So naff, I love them! Happy Kitschmas!

I also found six lovely Biltons bowls in immaculate condition. A Christmas present to myself. Merry Christmas me.

xo.



Train etiquette part trois.

Don't panic, I'll keep it brief, I know, yawn another train etiquette post, but seriously us Brits have a lot to answer for. I managed to avoid all pervy looking characters today as I boarded the train from London St Pancras, however what I did not anticipate was that the suited and booted businessman with iPad in tow would whip out a pastie! I mean what the freaking hell? Everyone knows that pasties reek, so why on earth would you think it acceptable to eat one not only in public but on a train where by default you impose it's quite distinct aroma on all those in the carriage in which you reside! Please add your 'Amen' to the comment section below if you agree! (and in return I promise to never post about trains again!)
Xo.

It's a bit Christmassy around these parts.

Today we decorated, we are running out of free weekends before Christmas and as we had a couple of friends coming over for LV's faux birthday (She's 3 on the 6th, but we'll be in work) we got on with making our home all about Christmas. First the tree went up, then the second tree, then the wreath on the front door and the smoking men were placed, Elf was of course playing in the background. I'm pretty pleased with the result:

Tree 1.

Tree 2.

LV's guests arrived and she opened her presents:

Moon dough...I regretted buying this, it ended up all over the rug.

Horay.

LV was keen to get her new snugly dressing gown on.

xo.